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Ending A Toxic Relationship
Posted: Jul 28, 11:00 AM
Author: Pastor Chukwuma Akobundu
Backing out of any relationship can be a difficult and costly task. If you are convinced that that the Lord is telling you that something is not right about your relationship, or you have come to the conclusion that you have made a mistake, here is a few suggestions on how you can end such relationships without destroying your partner.
- 1. Be absolutely sure that you want to end the relationship: It what you are feeling is just and emotional hang-over, you may find yourself in agony once you realize you have permanently killed your relationship. So be certain that you really want to end it. Seek the Lord's will on this matter carefully. Ask the Lord to speak to you clearly by providing peace or lack of peace concerning this situation. See Colossians 3:15
- 2. Determine if you need more time: Do not jump into any hasty conclusion; you may discover that with just a little more time you could discern the situation better. Be careful not to give in to pressure form anyone, by the time you decide that your relationship is not meant to be, you would have settled it quietly.
- 3. Seek the Lord help in communicating your decision: If the Lord has spoken to you, He is certainly capable of speaking to your partner. Ask Him to do just that, ask Him to prepare the way for you by preparing their heart as He has prepared yours. Also ask your partner to pray about your relationship. Make it plain that you don't want to end up in any relationship that is not God's perfect will.
- 4. Don't make excuses or some other offences to break up: Sometimes when we are fed up with a relationship and want to quit, wee resort to carnal ways to do it. We often allow the relationship to degenerate into unhealthy sexual contacts which will certainly bring instability and when this happens we eventually end the relationship on the grounds of discontentment. Don't use any such manipulative method of breaking up. Instead let you conduct be at all times as the Lord would have you be so that you will not trap yourself in the snare of the devil.
- 5. Don't focus on character flaws or other inadequacies: If you start to point out the lack in your partner's character or life, you may end up hurting them badly. Rather focus on the lack of inward peace.
- 6. Don't give any hope of making up: if it is certain that it is over, don't give any false hope that if they change, that the relationship can go forward. Be decisive about it, it is unwise when you are sure that it is over, you still nurse the feeling of getting back together.
- 7. Avoid an incomplete cut-off: If it is over, then it's over, you will only do more damage by trying to remain good friends. Because you have been so close, the relationship will probably need some cooling-off period before you can see much of each other again, that of course if you end up still friends.
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